I have just been informed by anonymous government sources of the pending launch of ChipTracker Version 1.0
I am flattered to be the first to break this exciting news. Not only will it help revitalize our economy, it will also enhance domestic security. The short story is that tiny chips will be embedded in every US citizen. That may sound invasive but my sources tell me the procedure is painless. There are massive benefits as discussed below. No doubt you will be hearing more about ChipTracker in the months to come but following are the details of release 1.0 that I have gathered so far.
ChipTracker Version 1.0 Highlights:
- The Government will know who you are all times. This will be used to track suspected terrorists, as opposed to upright and outstanding, law abiding US citizens.
- The Government will know where you are at all times. This will also be used to track suspected terrorists. If you are not a terrorist you need not fear this tracking.
- Parents will be given access to their kid’s data so they can monitor where their kids went and who they were with.
- A special feature of the chip, when activated, will also be able to distinguish relative body position. For example: If you get horizontal or stay too close to another chip for too long the information is captured. Parents will be allowed to sign up for flash alerts of suspicious behavior. Parents would then know who their kids were with and how close they got and all sorts of other useful information.
- The government will sell such pertinent information to parents. This will help balance the budget. It’s a win-win situation for both parents and the government.
- When you shop, stores will just scan your head and money will be deducted automatically from your account. This is obviously a convenience to everyone. The checkout counter will give polite reminders like: “You bought Oreos last week, are you sure you don’t need more”? This will make every shopping experience all the more personal and pleasant.
- At all times the government will know (for security reasons only of course) how much money you have and what you are spending it on.
- To prevent money from illegally exiting the US, access to your funds will be limited when you leave the US.
- The embedded chips will carry your birth date. If you are underage you will not be allowed to purchase cigarettes or beer. This will eliminate carding and be a real time saver all around for everyone. Fake IDs will no longer cut it. In fact all Ids will be useless except for the one embedded in your head.
- The government will know how you vote and IF you vote (but they promise only to use it for “good purposes” For example: It’s important to keep tack of registered Democrats and Independents. Oops I meant registered Communists. At any rate, if your vote is not in accordance with your registered affiliation a “terrorist suspect” flag will go off (unless of course you vote Republican). At no times would a Republican vote ever be considered suspicious. If and when the unlikely event should occur and there was ever again a Democratic president, the situation would change slightly, in the obvious manner, with obvious benefits.
- The chip will also be tied to your car. If you have three tickets your car won’t start.
- If you are wanted for a crime, any attempt to start any car will lock you in and send a signal to the police.
- If you remove the chip you revoke your US citizenship and you will be considered a terrorist and deported to Nigeria or Afghanistan or worse yet, France. Think of all the terrorists we can capture.
- Your entire medical history can be kept on the chip. Think of the life saving possibilities. The information would not be made available to insurance companies of course.
The economic and terrorist suppression benefits of ChipTracker Version 1.0 are of course obvious. However, there are a couple of details that need to be taken care of as follows.
- Your head would not have to be scanned to buy handguns or bazookas. Only honest citizens would be buying those things, not terrorists.
- Mexican laborers in the US would be exempt from having or using the chip.
- Illegal aliens will instead be given official red headbands and granted the privileges they rightly deserve.
- Anyone wearing an official red headband that is not in fact an illegal alien will be charged with crimes against humanity and deported.
Version 1.2 is rumored to have the following benefits but my sources refuse to be quoted on it.
- Gold and silver acquisitions and sales will be tracked.
- Any suspicious buying of gold and silver for physical delivery will be monitored and embedded into the chip.
- The government, with reason of course, needs to track shipments of gold and silver to terrorists.
- There will only be a minor inconvenience to non-suspects buying said metals.
How can anyone possibly be against such a solid proposal?
Mish is excited about ChipTracker.
How about you?
Mike Shedlock / Mish/