A US Army Major (USAM), whose name I have and have verified writes …

Hi Mish,

Thought you’d enjoy this in light of your recent “Absurdities, Blatant Lies, Chutzpah, Political Expediency, Odd Couples” post:

Not sure if you ever read the “Duffel Blog,” but it’s essentially “The Onion” with a targeted military audience. Their satire has been spot on lately. Sometimes humor is the only thing that can temper the unfathomable cost of these wars.

Best wishes,


The Major did not ask for his name to be left out, but to be safe for him, I left it out.

USAM directed me to Listen Guys, I Have The Perfect Solution To This Iraq Thing, written tongue-in-cheek by former Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld.

… It’s just been really sad to see, especially when I saw firsthand what a stable and flourishing Middle East could actually look like. When I left my position as defense secretary in 2006, Iraqis — with a love for democracy just like our founding fathers — were refreshing the tree of liberty with the blood of practically everyone, not just tyrants.

At least four or five Iraqis were optimistic about their future, while the so-called elites in our country constantly talked up bad news.

And then Obama came in, and all hell broke loose.

Terrorists have taken over Iraq once again. We know where they are, in the area around Tikrit and Baghdad and east, west, south and north somewhat.

And by God, what happens if these terrorists use nuclear weapons? That’s not a world I want to live in.

Now, I didn’t say they had nuclear weapons of course, but absence of evidence is not evidence of absence. They could have them. I mean, we just don’t know.

Anyway, listen up guys. I have the perfect solution to this whole Iraq thing. …

If I were advising the president today, I would recommend we go back in there and hunt down these terrorists. It’s just that simple. The only way to defend against terrorists is to go after them. We must stay on the offensive and remain engaged, because history has of course shown that radical Islamists eventually stop fighting if we just wait them out.

Donald Rumsfeld is an American politician and businessman. He served as the 13th Secretary of Defense from 1975 to 1977 under President Gerald Ford, and as the 21st Secretary of Defense from 2001 to 2006 under President George W. Bush. He’s best known for writing about 40,000 memos only Errol Morris would be insane enough to read, and for forging the “strategy” behind Operation: Enduring Clusterfuck and Operation: Iraqi Shitshow.

What a riot. Thanks USAM, for seeing things as they are.

Mike “Mish” Shedlock